Not Puff

taking a break from LSLMA

2007-09-14T14:28:00.000+08:00

LSLMA

2007-08-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

Dear poor lil friends,

School hasnt been a breeze so far and i'm still struggling to get the hang of things over here. Things that i did this week (the ones that made me happy and high are in bold:D)

I did
-not go for freshman bash. sold my ticket(i heard the music was bad but club music is always bad to me. someone please go Bellini with me :D)
-meet up with L&L people instead! had beer (and ikan bilis [!!??] ) at the lousy SMU Ice Cold B and then more of those intoxicating drinks (and chicken wings, fries, mini burgers) at the real Ice Cold Beer :P
-not complete my readings
-not attend the muay thai trial run
-scour for a good buy. nice fila sneakers at half price! what a steal :)
-not manage to go back to vj today cos my driving lesson ended late (tday celebs :( :( :( )
-go back to rgs and visited the teachers on Monday with jun li.
-we saw Ms pang, julie koh, Chang, mrs Deb Tan...laoshi ;P

AND IM SO GLAD THE WEEKEND IS HERE.
dont worry. i will stay +++ve. i know i will :)

DECISION ANXIETY

2007-08-24T10:26:00.000+08:00

i've not updated for an awfully long time. apologies to those who still check this blog now and again.
school in SMU has started. it hasn't been a pleasant experience for now. personally, the seminar style teaching is putting me off because i feel that in just this first week of school, i have witnessed for myself what they mean (though im not sure if this is what they want) by Class participation. people give me the impression that they are forcing anything and everything they can think of out of their mouths. just to be heard (by prof?).

not much of it is constructive tho'. and since we're in the first week of school, how much would we know about the topic to be able to offer great nuggets of insight? all comments thrown out during class seem mostly to be parroting each other, or they are rhetorical questions, or some smart aleck comment which is not related to the topic of discussion.

i hope things get better for myself and the rest of my classmates.
CCA day today. im performing with Voix and well, im also thinking of joining a non competitive sport. haha.

Decision Anxiety: Why Decision-Making is Harder for Some and How They Can Make It Easier (Part 1)
this is by EUGENE LOH. Enjoy.

For some of us, decision-making can be a nightmare - "What should I wear today?", "What should I drink?", "What stocks should I buy?", "What colour should I paint my room?", "Should I go out tonight?", "Should I marry her?", "Should I get a divorce?".
From the simplest and most mundane to the potentially life-changing, decision-making is a task we face daily, and if not handled well, can bring us a lot of stress and anxiety.
People who find it difficult to make decisions typically over-analyse the situation - they think of all the possible reasons why they should or should not do something, and then get caught when there seems to be as many logical reasons for both. They need to be absolutely sure they make the "right" decision, and this obsession is what's sending them round in circles. Now, in most cases, it's impossible to make a judgement on what's right. So much of life is ambiguous and to desire to always make a "right" decision is to condemn oneself to much stressful wavering, doubt and regret.
Certainly there are decisions in life that require proper consideration but we should not fret so much about them that they paralyse us or bog us down with guilt long after the fact. We must accept that every decision is good and bad to a certain extent and that how good and bad it is really depends on whose eyes we're looking out from. It's also true that with many of the decisions we make, we never know if they were the right ones, but that shouldn't prevent us from being happy with them.
If we keep waiting around for a sign, or to be absolutely sure before acting, then we will never act. In fact, so many of us, in our fear of making the wrong decisions, simply fail to decide, not realizing of course, that by not acting, we have already made a decision. That's why some of us keep making the same mistakes, keep doing what doesn't work, or remain in a job or with someone who doesn't fulfill us.
Decision anxiety, even if it doesn't prevent us from making decisions, can cause us to base our decisions on emotional whims or the approval of others - for e.g. "I smoke because my job is stressful", "I need a dog because I'm lonely", "I'm with him because of financial security", "this is the only way others will accept me", or "nobody will like the real me". These ways of making a decision are not the result of logical thought. They are just crutches we fall on because we don't want to take responsibility for our decisions.
----

2007-05-31T01:08:00.000+08:00

200 things I've done (in bold) at least once the past 19 years:
200 things i wish i could do (in italics) at least once in my life:

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the great pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the northern lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of leaning tower of pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment. AND THAT WAS IN COURT.
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 4
0. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a cheque
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ... more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ... and gotten 86’ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199. Written your own role playing game
200. Been arrested

心如刀割

2007-05-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

我的天是灰色
我的心是蓝色
触摸着你的心
竟是透明的

你的悠然自得
我却束手无策
我的心痛竟是你的快乐

其实我不想对你恋恋不舍
但什么让我辗转反侧
不觉我说着说着天就亮了
我的唇角尝到一种苦涩

我是真的为你哭了
你是真的随他走了
就在这一刻
全世界伤心角色又多了我一个
我是真的为你爱了
你是真的跟他走了
能给的我全都给了我都舍得
除了让你知道我心如刀割

dear poor little friends, this is a really touching song! zhang xue you rocks :)

FTT

2007-05-24T19:56:00.000+08:00

hello dear poor little friends,
i passed my FTT! :)

going to meet the instructor and probably decide on when to start having lessons....
given tht if i have to fund myself thru this whole learning thing, how much do i need to set aside for the lessons? my instructor charges about 30 every 90minutes. hmmm. :\
still havent taken a passport photo for my passport...i'll cease to be a singapore citizen in a few months... YAY haha.......zzz.

was reading the objections filed by the minority owners of this mega huge en bloc estate yesterday, and they are really valid reasons. its amazing how a few of these owners (not represented by the bulk's lawyer) can come up with essays of substance exceeding that provided by the "bulk's lawyer". the essays followed PEE format; the evidence was so well presented that i was actually convinced, that the process of en bloc is really really unfair to the minority. especialyl when you buy the property to RESIDE in, and not for investment purposes.

its a friday tomorrow:)

party world

2007-05-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

dear poor little friends, there are two party worlds at Tanjong pagar! one's larger and just opposite the MRt station,the other looks quite sleazy and according to Benj, "looks like Geylang". went to sing karaoke with my DHL colleagues last last night...it was great fun! anyway when we stepped into the place benj remarked again! "smells like Geylang!". haixia and i were flabbergasted. :P :P :P. so it was a good gathering; met xen, glady(s),haixia ben and kevin. :):):). hahaa... was totally entertained by haixia the entire night!!

i miss all of them badlyyyyy..... :( :( :( :( :(

am i still me?

2007-05-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

hello my poor little friends who still visit this blog. eternally grateful that you guys still check for my rare updates. thank u.

1- ive changed job..no longer with DESC finance but am doing some Real estate work at Lee&lee and i totally detest office wear. i miss dressing casually for work at DESC..no other office workplace will i get that kind of slack lor... everyday is dress-down-friday there. haiz...
theres alot of reluctance on my part to buy officewear since i wont be wearing them after this few months. so im surviving on my miserable pieces of office wear... :( ps i hate shopping.
plus my short working stint at lee&lee has made me realise that i really wont enjoy practising law. corporate im not interested; liti is just....not for me. twisting things in your favour even when u know the client doesnt have the right to have custody to the child; that the child will suffer under your client. thinking why i did not apply for the MOE teaching scholarships or any teaching awards etc if i was really keen on teaching. in all my decisions in what uni course to do i always consider if i will be able to go back to teaching one day. i was dissuaded by my parents from teaching and perhaps that just shows that im either easily swayed or im just not passionate enough. im also confused if im really interested in TEACHING, yada yada and get geked by the students but still achieve that satisfaction; or am i just interested in going back to a "school" sort of environment. haiz. i need to analyse things properly...
2- i bought a nice big handbag today. my indecisiveness was shown again as i hovered around the two bags that i was choosing between, for about. 45 minutes. BLEH. the saleswoman left me alone to make my decision after a while. and so what did i do? i retardedly emptied the contents of my cheap 22$ (ha! but its still good enough for me ok) canvas bag. both bags passed the first test of being able to store my Nalgene bottle without looking overstuffed, but when i tried to put in my answer scripts the smaller bag failed.... so.. sigh. :( should i go back to get the smaller one? its a sling cum tote bag, good size, nice brown with a steel buckle and its just 49! its beautiful. and its down from 99. yea :(
sigh...
3- am still waiting for NUS to reply me. so far, ive been offered
NTU accountancy. versus SMU accountancy + business double degree.
and if i do get sent to bioengine/ science fac, should i really go into it because i want to use the degree to teach in the end? its alot harder for a BAcc / BBM graduate to teach unless u study more to the standard of teaching Accountancy... though no doubt the accountancy deg has more market value than bioengine, or science.
4- im very confused. am i sacrificing too much ? will everything be worth it in the end? why should i put myself through all this crap? am i being SENSIBLE ? im sure my parents have their reasons for thinking the way they are thinking.........am i just too naive and trusting?
maybe its just not time yet........
sigh....

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

EEE

2007-04-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

Hello. been more sleep deprived than normal these few days because of uni applications. Think i may be leaving my current job soon-for greener pastures hopefully. to think of it, now is the only few months i can try out new jobs and gain exposure to as many vocatiosn as possible! so why am i feeling the inertia. work has become repetitive and boring, and my only reason for staying is cos' of the great colleagues i have and also the location of my workplace. its time to move on...
but seriously, im keen on trying out jobs like Barista. Camp Instructor. Drama teacher but for that u need a drama dip. at least =(

Am quite shocked at how much destruction one person caused. the massacre at Virginia tech didnt seem so freaky at first-until i read about the incident and the process of it. how much planning went into the thing!! anyway the number 32 just didnt impact me much at the beginning. guess this is what Young likes to say about us being numbed and only figures like, a million, or a couple of thousand deaths could shock us. but imagining the scene of pandemonium and horrified students....the wild shooting.. 32, or even one life... sigh. haiz. life is so unpredictable. Anyway guess the guy majored English because he probably wanted to use it as a means of communication since he was so non communicative.non verbal i mean. or perhaps just the mindset that with English he could attain greater standards etc sincee hes in USA.
Can't imagine what consequences there will be if something like this happens in Singapore. like berserk student brings in homemade bomb and sets it off during class...

im into this Sunyanzi song at the moment, its called Kai Shi Dong Le.quite an old song, caught it on 958 while in the car that day.

FUN DAY

2007-03-31T01:54:00.000+08:00

it was sports day and unfortunately i didnt manage to get back on time. office was slack today.ok not really but, i just reconfirmed the fact tat i like doing miscellaneous things. like giving out food (peanut pancakes courtesy of raymond ), escorting xen to the bank (actually i wasnt really needed haha but it was fun to get a breather)...etc. today i saw the most cartoonish design for the workstation name display. it was big and yellow and your name would be emblazoned in like, blue. in an ugly font. so it looked like lego.

sorry this is so VT disorganised. so, to the bank was always fun. catching up with xen (i miss sitting next to her though she can be so VT noisy), buying food for the rest in the office(another misc job), sneaking into HR's meeting room to have lunch since our pathetic pantry doesnt have a table... i regret buying the fish and chips frm newyorkpizza because
1-service was poor;
2-they took so very the long to prepare the food;
3-the fries had turned soggy when i got back to office;
4-the design of the box (its a large triangle like a pizza) is just so impractical and bulky. i couldnt even fit the box into the dustbin when i was throwing it away.

i spent the afternoon calling up our suppliers to get their email addresses. thats about it. left office and caught a lift from haixia's sister,who drpped me off near vj. bought dinner for my drama jnrs,took a bus back and had fun back in the lang lab! so i bought meals for people twice in a day! i should be in the service sector :O am also so glad to see my capt and vcapt (cheryl and denise respectively) again! all the quirky antics of theirs and my noms...i had the whole bunch do this japanese bow to me infront of the canteen and they chanted like, "GOOD EVENING GRAND SENIOR" and "GOODBYE GGRAND SENIOR". hmm. i am their grand senior. doesnt that just sound bloody old? and it was fun just watching the rehearsals and mryoung going silly over his hiphop thing. haiz. the best part was the brutal scenes today...all these stage things i wished everyone would have mastered by now. how to fake a slap, a fall, a punch and a blow in the stomach...its important. oh well. and i shouldnt have missed sports day.

its past 2am. time to sleep and nurse my sickness... my throat feels like its burning. perhaps i shouldnt have given in to my temptations during lunch. now my throat's worse than before... :(
and i hve submitted my uni applications. after clicking the dropdown button and switching my options around and up and down...im going to leave it for good and hope for the best.

everything will be alright.
things will work out.
im hopeful.

titoudao

2007-03-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

hello. went to watch ti tou dao (pronounced as Tee tao doh..) with jiajia young n mrteo. it was quite good. didnt really understand in the beginning and it was a while after the show started that things started piecing up... and then i went OHhh.. mostly in dialect, its about an opera singer's life from the 1960s...all the way till now. how they spoke of chinese opera as a dying trade...etc. the actors were really professional and the voice quality was superb!!
anyway am down with throat inflammation again... :( is it stress?
i dont understand why im procrastinating my application to uni... havent actually gone into the portal as yet. each time i go to the NUS website i'll just leave it idle and go to some other webbie... sigh. the thing in the newspapers today, how people just strive to get their 4As first and then decide later about what they want to / can study, its so true... though sometimes its necessary to have the goal in mind. think it could have served as a big motivation, to have a career in mind and to work towards having the basic results to enter that faculty.

i like this song-

2007-03-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

not sure if u guys will be able to see this.
ANYONE WITH THE GUITAR CHORDS (or if u manage to find out the chords) pleaseE TELL ME. THANK U:D:D:D

失去才会懂得珍惜
但我珍惜你
伤越痛就是爱越深
我不相信
你和我同时停止呼吸
每一次我们靠近
你让我忘了困惑
忘了所有烦心
我把你紧紧拥入怀里
捧你在我手心
谁叫我真的爱的就是你
在爱的纯净世界
你就是我唯一
永远永远不要怀疑
我把你当作我的空气
如此形影不离
我大声说我爱的就是你
在爱的幸福国度
你就是我唯一
我唯一爱的就是你
我真的爱的就是你
就是你唯一爱的就是你
爱的就是你

the self centred post

2007-03-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hi. Meet me!

ive been an enfp since i started taking this test seriously (and honestly) in sec 3.

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow

ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.

Living
ENFP children are 'into everything.' Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original --- but not necessarily practical --- languages, plays, and scenarios. Many ENFPs enjoy drawing, writing, playacting, and dreaming. They are often chosen as leaders because of their persuasive enthusiasm and their energy for new and different ways of developing things.
ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career.
Because they see endless possibilities, to select one possibility appears to the ENFP to be too narrow a focus. They hate to be boxed into a career for life and therefore hesitate and resist making decisions. It is unwise for ENFPs to settle down too early, and they make the soundest choices when they delay career and marriage decisions until their middle to late twenties. Often when a decision is made, ENFPs will still leave a number of options open or change their minds as they encounter new information.
Even in their everyday activities, ENFPs often search for the new and the novel. If there is a logical route to work and ENFP has been driving that way continually, he or she will likely tire of it and look for other routes.
ENFPs are more likely than other types to change from one career to another, demonstrating their versatility in doing so. It is not uncommon to hear stories of ENFPs who have established themselves in a career and who, when faced with the daily routine of maintaining it, leave it to start another.
Adult ENFPs maintain characteristics that might be considered youthful, such as enthusiasm, curiosity, and a zestful outlook on life. As a result, people often enjoy being with them. Many times they are young-in-spirit as they age, perhaps because of their temperament.
ENFPs look forward to retirement as a time that can bring freedom from the restrictions of the work world and ample opportunity to pursue their varied interests. However, if ENFPs become disabled or experience a lack of resources, such as money, they may become despondent because this restricts their ability to quest after new experiences.

Learning
ENFPs often learn best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others. They enjoy the search for new ideas and possibilities, and will put in the time necessary to master subjects they find interesting. One strength is their enthusiasm for the process of discovery. They enjoy survey courses, comparative studies, and disciplines in which there is much to research and explore. They do not like classes that are too structured, that consist only of lectures, and that allow no room for their imagination. They may get caught up in the learning process and consequently need strict deadlines to bring a project to completion.
ENFPs prefer a learning environment in which the teacher takes personal interest in them, in which there is an opportunity to talk about ideas with their peers, and in which there is a chance to ask questions and develop new ideas.
A motto that might describe the ENFP as a learner is "There's always another way or another answer."

still reading?

Working
ENFPs often follow a nonlinear career track and nontraditional routes to obtaining knowledge, qualifications, and skills. When they are committed to what they do, they are enthusiastic to the point of preaching to the entire world about it. For an ENFP, work must be fun and must contribute to something larger than merely collecting a paycheck.
The preferred work setting for ENFPs contains imaginative people focused on human possibilities. ENFPs want a work environment that is both physically and mentally colorful. They prefer a participative and collegial atmosphere in which employees are included in the decision making. ENFPs are less productive where there is disharmony because they pay more attention to the relationships between people at work than they do to the tasks. Their ideal job would offer variety, novelty, challenge, and freedom from tight supervision; it would be idea oriented and imaginative, and would have lively, energetic people enjoying themselves and their tasks.
Most ENFPs will say they are organized, but others might not see them that way. Their desire to be open to the moment tends to outweigh their need to be organized. Usually ENFP work space is arranged haphazardly, with work materials and personal momentos scattered about. In terms of the management of time, ENFPs find it particularly difficult to estimate accurately how long an activity will take. Because people's needs are more important than schedules, ENFPs are often late and characteristically full of apologies for their tardiness.
ENFPs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. ENFPs usually find a place in their work life for creativity. They particularly enjoy people-oriented work in which they are able to combine things in new and different ways to benefit humanity. Flexibility and autonomy are important to ENFPs, who may bolt from organizations in which this is not attainable.
Common occupations picked by ENFPs include artist, clergy, consultant, counselor, entertainer, journalist, public relations worker, social scientist, social worker, teacher, and other occupations that allow ENFPs to use their creativity and insight.

Leading
ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others' contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts.

Leisure
ENFPs often have a difficult time separating their work from their leisure. Because they like to have fun while they work and usually arrange their work lives to meet this need, the boundaries between their work and their leisure may not be as clear as they might be for some other types.
Because of their continual search for new things to experience, it is rare for ENFPs to become heavily involved in a single activity; their appetite for involvement is too great. Generally, ENFPs are on the lookout for new things and may come across what is "trendy" before others. They tend to participate early on in those new activities.
ENFPs like travel and reading because these activities open experiences of other times and places. Their reading often brings quiet and reflection time, as well as new material for their dreams. Their travels afford them opportunities to experience different people and cultures.
Some ENFPs may invite others to join them at plays, films, or in classes. Some enjoy physical activities in which they are able to challenge themselves, release their energy, and maintain their physical fitness.

Loving
For ENFPs, loving is an almost constant state. They are generally involved or in love with someone or something new. ENFPs may have originated the quotation "All the world loves a lover." When falling in love, they explore all the new possibilities in the relationship, and the new person is studied in every way. The ENFP tends to idealize his or her current relationship and will often say that their current one is "the best ever."
It might be argued that each type, when first in love, resembles a garden-variety ENFP, because ENFPs normally behave like people in love. Some of the cultural cliches about falling in love - such as "Falling in love with love," "Head over heels in love," "Love is blind," "All the world loves a lover," and "Throw caution to the wind" - seem to apply to the ENFP. This same boundless affection can be showered upon friends, co-workers, and others. People often feel unconditionally loved by ENFPs, but over time many of these relationships dissipate, as in "When I'm not near the ones I love, I love the ones I'm near."
ENFPs are delightful, enthusiastic partners who are young in spirit; there is rarely a dull moment with them. They readily note their partner's best aspects. They may overlook obvious details and facts about their partners that might cause other types to be more cautious. As relationships progress, ENFPs romanticise their partners and make strong efforts to rationalize any discrepancy between the reality and their "ideal."
When they are in love, they may either overcommit and ignore any unpleasant yet true facts; or they may undercommit, believing that there may be a better love "just around the corner." Therefore, ENFPs may be seen as fickle in their relationships as they search for the "right one."
When and if the flaws in the relationship become too obvious to ENFPs, they may admit defeat, feeling great pain because they have put so much energy into perfecting a particular relationship. When ENFPs are scorned, they overgeneralize about their partners' worst faults. Because ENFPs thrive on new possibilities, when they fall out of love, they rebound quickly.

still reading?

Profile by David Keirsey
For ENFPs nothing occurs which does not have some significance, and they have an uncanny sense of the motivations of others. This gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 5 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. ENFPs strive toward the authentic, even when acting spontaneously, and this is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find this characteristic attractive. ENFPs, however, find their own efforts of authenticity and spontaneity always lacking, and tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, always berating themselves for being so conscious of self.
ENFPs consider intense emotional experiences vital; when they have these, however, they are made uneasy by a sense of being there but with a part of themselves split off. They strive for congruency, but always see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which ENFPs possess in a wide range and variety.
ENFPs exercise a continuous scanning of the external environment, and nothing out of the ordinary is likely to escape their attention. They are keen and penetrating observers and are capable of intense concentration on another individual while aware of what is going on about them. Their attention is never passive or casual, never wandering, but always directed. At times, ENFPs find themselves interpreting events in terms of another's "hidden motive," giving special meaning to words or actions. This interpretation tends to be negative and, more often than not, inaccurately negative. In the process, an ENFP may find that he or she has introduced an unnecessary, toxic element into the relationship. While ENFPs are brilliantly perceptive, they can make serious mistakes in judgment, which works to their discomfort. These mistakes derive from their tendency to focus on data which confirm their own biases. They may be absolutely correct in their perceptions but wrong in their conclusions.
Because they tend to be hypersensitive and hyper-alert, they may suffer from muscle tension. They live in readiness for emergencies; because they have this facility, they assume this is true for others. They can become bored rather quickly with both situations and people, and resist repeating experiences. They enjoy the process of creating something-an idea or a project-but are not as interested in the follow-through. They are typically enthusiastic, and this is contagious. People get caught up and entranced by an ENFP. Yet this type is marked with a fierce independence, repudiating any kind of subordination, either in themselves or in others in relation to them. They do tend to attribute more power to authority figures than is there and give over to these figures an ability to "see through" them-which also is not apt to be there. While ENFPs resist the notion of others becoming dependent or having power over them, their charisma draws followers who wish to be shown the way. ENFPs constantly find themselves surrounded by others who look toward the ENFP for wisdom, inspiration, courage, leadership, and so on-an expectancy which, at times, weighs rather heavily on an ENFP.
ENFPs are characteristically optimistic and are surprised when people or events do not turn out as anticipated. Often their confidence in the innate goodness of fate and human nature is a self-fulling prophecy.

Career
ENFPs have a remarkable latitude in career choices and succeed in many fields. As workers, they are warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, imaginative, and can do almost anything that interests them. They can solve most problems, particularly those dealing with people. They are charming and at ease with colleagues; others enjoy their presence. ENFPs are outstanding in getting people together, and are good at initiating meetings and conferences, although not as talented at providing for the operational details of these events. They enjoy inventing new ways of doing things, and their projects tend to become a cause, quickly becoming personalized. They are imaginative themselves, but can have difficulty picking up on ideas and projects initiated by others. They must make these ideas and projects their own if ENFPs are to lend their energy and interest. Once people or projects become routine, ENFPs are likely to lose interest; what might be is always more fascinating than what is. ENFPs make extensive use of their intuitive powers. They usually have a wide range of personal and telephone contacts, expending energy in maintaining both career and personal relationships.
ENFPs make excellent salespeople, advertising people, politicians, screen or play writers, and in general are attracted to the interpretative arts, particularly character acting. People to people work is essential for ENFPs, who need the feedback of interaction with others. ENFPs may find it difficult to work within the constraints of an institution, especially in following rules, regulations, and standard operating procedures. More frequently, institutional procedures and policies are targets to be challenged and bent by the will of an ENFP. Colleagues and superiors sometimes find themselves in the position of having to accommodate and salvage. At times, ENFPs demonstrate impatience with others; they may get into difficulty in an organization by siding with its detractors, who find in an ENFP a sympathetic ear and a natural rescuer. In occupational choice, ENFPs quickly become restless if the choice involves painstaking detail and follow-through over a period of time. Variety in day-to-day operations and interactions best suits the talents of ENFPs, who need quite a bit of latitude in which to exercise their adaptive ingenuity.

Home
As mates, ENFPs tend to be charming, gentle, sympathetic, and nonconformist. They are not likely to be interested in the less-inspired routines of daily maintenance and ever will be seeking new outlets for their inspirations. As parents, ENFPs are devoted although somewhat unpredictable in handling their children, shifting from a role of friend-in-need-rescuer to stern authority figure. They may not always be willing to enforce their impulsive pronouncements, but leave it to their mates to follow through. A mate of an ENFP can expect charming surprises: extravagant generosity punctuated by periods of frugality. Independent actions regarding money on the part of an ENFP's mate are not ordinarily welcomed, and the mate may find him or herself in an embarrassing situation of having to return purchases. ENFPs generally are the ones in charge of the home, and a conflict free home is desired, almost demanded. When he or she is in charge of economic resources, the ENFP's home may contain extravagant luxuries while necessities may be missing. They are not always interested in saving for the future and may be casual in giving consideration to such things as life insurance, savings accounts, and even a ready cash supply for mate and children.
ENFPs are characteristic in their pursuit of the novel, their strong sense of the possible, and outstanding intuitive powers. At the same time, they have warmth and fun with people and generally are unusually skilled in handling people. Their extraverted role tends to be well developed, as is their capacity for the novel and the dramatic.

Midlife
At midlife ENFPs may need to give particular attention to their physical health, concentrating perhaps on developing resources to release muscular tensions. Body awareness and relaxation exercises may deserve investment of energies; work with various art media such as oils, clay, and building materials may be pleasurable. They need also to discipline themselves against beginning too many projects and making commitments to too many people. They should more fully enjoy relationships and opportunities that already exist, even at the expense of neglecting new ones. ENFPs certainly need to relax, to decrease the number of hours invested in work, and turn to recreational activities-travel, visual entertainment, and physically relaxing activities.

Mates
Here is the herald, the spirited bearer of tiding. But underneath this effervescent enthusiasm is a person fiercely dedicated to "meaning" in life and reminiscent of the INFP crusader. Only the ENFP neither crusades nor meditates, not for long anyway. The ENFP is into everything, frisky, not unlike a puppy, sniffing around to see what's new. ENFP has to be in on everything, can't bear to be left out of anything. That's why they make such splendid reporters, newscasters, and journalists. Mercury. Now who would enjoy this frisky, bubbly-yet serious-person? The Rock of Gibraltar, of course-ISTJ, the "trustee." ISTJ, who revels in "keeping the books in order," "balancing the budget," "securing and ensuring," "stabilizing and steadying," "honoring contracts," "keeping the ship on a steady course" and "shipshape," delights also in providing anchorage and safe harbor for the heraldic ENFP.
Who else is attractive and attracted to our curious journalist? Strangely, the abstract scientist: INTJ. Lost in his abstract world of hypotheses, he finds anchorage in the person who knows what's going on in the real world! So ENFP can be an anchor or have an anchor, and who can tell which will be chosen.

Field Of Dreams

2007-03-18T13:09:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.

its been a bumpy and confusing one week for the indecisive me.currently we all have 2more weeks to our uni applications. theres been alot of conflict within myself, plus parental pressure, ETC. what kind of life would i want to lead in future? i may be good looking at figures all day and fine having a desk bound job, but i think i wont be able to keep up with it as a career..even now as a temp im feeling that figures, budgetting stuff, taxes and just sitting there studying numbers wont be able to give me job satisfaction... i may be a people person,but how much personal/family time am i willing to sacrifice for a people job with loong working hours? oh bother...

time is running out (yet again). where do we go from here?

im 19!

2007-03-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. alas, today marks the end of my great eighteenth, to welcome the 19 me! so old.. :P i went to work as per normal today, since i felt that there would be alot of stuff going on cos my boss xen is back. my first surprise came when lunch was at swensens! uber thanks to my boss. hmm though i think R and G (the big bosses) didnt quite enjoy the food..and the bad service -_-. maybe they're shorthanded just like us.
so now im waiting for my second surprise to arrive while i rattle on. :P.
A levels were released about a week ago. remembered this hoo ha about rj kids not being happy with 4As, and this kinda horrified the public..think the norm thinking would be, "isnt 4As a perfect score? why they seem like they're never satisfied. or these kids have too high expectationS!" but it didnt really stun me..i feel that sometimes when the competition is too tight, you wont even feel like you're the cream of the crop even when you already are. with 3As its quite difficult to differentiate yourself from your peers in schools, who probably did as well. have i been "poisoned" by that sort of mindset too?

:) CNY pics. late!

2007-03-06T22:54:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure why, but i cant seem to view entries more recent than this one on this cover page!

but if you're interested, go to the left column and click under Archives->March 2007.

five colors in her hair

2007-03-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

This few days have been really, exhausting! i never knew i could work till 1am (with my boss miss Dodo and siyu). by about 10 or 11 we were all quite quiet, perhaps all too zonked out to chat and stuff. we were the only ones left in the office by 10..realised there are really quite a number of night flights. could hear planes zooming above us. thunderous. then at 1 we drove to changi village to have dinner..nasi lemak! quite heavy meal. saw alot of tranvestites..haha. all the Shims..haha.

so happy for xen that shes getting married! :) my alpha woman role model. really admire her.

its quite amazing when i think about it now how much i can actually push myself. just regretting why i didnt push myself last year at the crucial period before exams, prelims, As....Koped this song from my angel Elvin's blog.

Patrick Park - Life Is A Song

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness

Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to sing along
Until the very ending

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul

But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

--Goodnight. probably not in a yak yak mood.

2007-02-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

6 - the Questioner
Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist").

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it...
but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose CY

Would you rather have chosen:

AY (EIGHT)

BY (FOUR)

CX (TWO)

CZ (ONE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

http://www.okcupid.com/"> alt="free online dating" src="http://is3.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
You scored higher than 99% on ABC
http://www.okcupid.com/"> alt="free online dating" src="http://is3.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
You scored higher than 99% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

february 8

2007-02-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

wWwoah its been more than a month since i came here, hello once again to my poor little friends who still pop in (more often than me?) to check if im still alive! sorry about the dormancy..well this month without school seems to pass quite fast. for those who dont know,i am working with Finance dept of DHL EXEL! its near Changi beach park. theres an industrial park so its pretty inaccessible. but there're shuttle buses to get into the Alps. (thats the place!) IM SO so GLAD that ive brilliant colleagues and bosses!

so theres Gavin my big boss who's really fatherly, and humorous. No airs! he's also always the one that drives us out to T2 or Changi village for lunch. Lunch is also what i look forward to on my weekdays, cos the lunch time convos are raelly funny. Ghosts, and other randomites like cars, WEIGHT LOSS (think a quarter of the dept trying to lose weight!), first loves.....and gross stuff that i would not mention.lol. I also look forward to wednesdays where i get to visit Darren, my tuition kid..who insists that Quay is pronounced as Kueh; he will also never enunciate his words properly. my chi drama teacher would say he "chi luo si". eat screws. Dont ask me how that came about:S.

ok anyway back to my day job haha. theres another temp frm tp with me in the dept (: Work is pretty mechanical, mostly data entry though i like fiddling with the other machines... like the franking mail machine, where i will just slot the envelopes through and the machine will go GRRRR and it will print the postage on the envelope. its also thru this 2months that irealised; im AWFULLY scatter brained when it comes to paperwork, esp those that require me to detach staples, zap this and that..BLEAH i can attach wrong attachments to the cover sheet lei! retarded. we're shifting out of Alps soon and heading to Changi South, where the head office of DHL is i think. This alps place is not bad, though the office is in a wreck! the lift is spoilt and they still cant fix it after 3 days, they're renovating our level's pantry so we've to get water from the other levels, its dusty... ok but the toilets are cleaner than vj's.

got back early today cos i had half day leave to visit the ear specialist. supposedly ive a prob with my Eustachian tube, which is this short tube that links your ear to the back of your nose. it helps to regulate the pressure in your ear. so since its slightly dysfunctional..it caused me to have dull aches in my ears... there is no cure, so the only remedy is to open my mouth and let the pressure in my ear equalise with the surroundings O_O

high time they discharged me man! im stuck at the children's ward still. :(
i really felt old today. bugis village was filled with school kids sauntering about, some aunties, more school kids...

2007-01-01T22:42:00.000+08:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

goodnight!

010107

2007-01-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

okie i know ive been MIA for a little while now.. happy 2007 everyone! what do yu guys think of this song's lyrics? its by Take That. enjoy the cool night! 1 jan.

i really wish 31dec didnt end so fast...haish.

Don't be sold a dream. Remember how the past has been

Don't be led to believe this one's for you

Calculate your needs. I see there's room to plant your seeds

Don't decide till you see how the others have grown

Once you've tasted love it is just the beginning of a new world

Once you've tasted love there's no way you can give in

Once you've tasted love

Still too early to know.

Give them time and they will grow

Don't believe that the first's the one for you

Most will grow to be tall, others will break and fall

Keep your eye on the strongest head of them all

Once you've tasted love it is just the beginning of a new world

Once you've tasted love it is just the beginning

for the person who left.

2006-11-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush.

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night,

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I do not die.

A French Affair

2006-09-22T12:08:00.000+08:00

above: something my friend chinnie made:)
bought that album yesterday frm gramophone. it was alright, the music was good but according to my sister the quality was aslightly fuzzy so she's helping me return to the shop and see what they can do about it.

so fast, prelims are over! the next and final destination for this year will be the As...
ow.for me, prelims wont actually matter as in the mark, the grades and all since i wont be applying overseas. just that it will be another motivator for me, that tells me how much more i need to work for the next 6weeks. oh wait, is it only 5...

gonna get my good coffee later (:
take care and i probably wont update for a while frm now.. again. haha.

HELLO!

2006-08-12T13:05:00.000+08:00

hello blog and my little friends.
its been about a month! i dare say that this month, ive been more hardworking than any of the months before! ive been doing my tutorials (ALAS!) and trying to start on prelims revision... which is difficult. :(
dont know what else to elaborate on for now. been daydreaming quite a bit (as usual) too... ok not daydreaming. but pensive thinking just that now, im able to not let the thoughts bite me and affect me as negatively as before.
anw Jenny this is for u. haha.
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a heros welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where Im meant to be
Ill be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know evry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, Ill be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow Ill see it through
And I wont look back, I can go the distance
And Ill stay on track, no, I wont accept defeat
Its an uphill slope, but I wont lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a heros strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I dont care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my heros welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my heros welcome, waiting in your arms.

and this is a little test i did, koped from Don's website... they said im not human!

I Am A: Lawful Good Elf Paladin

Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Paladins are the Holy Warriors. They have been chosen by a God/dess to be their representative on Earth, and must follow the code of that deity, or risk severe penalties. They tend towards being righteous, but not generally to excess.

Secondary Class:
Monks are strange and generally not understood by the world at large. They live apart from people, and follow strict codes that restrain their behavior and lifestyle. They have an exceptionally calm outlook on life, and generally do not resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. Even when they do, their code of conduct forbids the use of all weapons - except their hands. As such, monks are extremely skilled at hand-to-hand combat, and no other style.

Deity:
Tyr is the Lawful Good god of justice. He is also known as Tyr Grimjaws, Wounded Tyr, the Maimed God, and Blind Tyr. He appears as a warrior, missing his hand. Followers of Tyr are concerned first and foremost with justice - discovering the truth and punishing the guilty for their crimes. They wear blue and purple robes with a white sash, a white gauntlet on the left hand, and a black gauntlet on the right, to symbolize Tyr's lost hand. Their preferred weapon is the warhammer. Tyr's symbol is a set of scales resting on a warhammer.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Loves.

2006-07-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

Somehow photos seem to be able to engage me and leave me totally..i dont know. i feel so surreal sometimes just looking at how things are just so different in various parts of the world. how much do we know about the world outside of our little singapore? and whats actually happening...all the ways of life, the culture, festivals. not forgetting the poverty and tragedies that will put us to shame and make me think twice about grumbling about what im going through here.

Jenny's competition is tmr. really hope he does it well!:)

Maymyo, Burma, 1983
Photograph by James L. Stanfield
A gharry driver awaits a fare on a deserted street in Maymyo, a mountain town where British colonial officials recreated their beloved English countryside with half-timbered houses, rose arbors, and steepled churches.
(Text adapted from and photograph shot on assignment for, but not published in, "Time and Again in Burma," July 1984, National Geographic magazine.)

This furry thing u see up here is the rock dassie. if you didnt know what it was :).

its an arid desert animal. quite laazy. likes basking in the sun if im not wrong.

tonight its the blues against the blues. im guessing Italy will win, 2-1. just a guess.

theres school tomorrow... i wish i didnt bring mi guitar back on friday, for now its been nabbed by my mum. saw it at the top of her wardrobe without a proper case!:( she took tthe guitar but left my guitar bag there..so my guitar is now draped with two plastic bags, one for the body and the other for the part with the frets...just reminds me of those murders where the victim is shabbily packaged. she insists the temptation is there..as in the temptation and distraction of the guitar. well i admit thats quite true.

ok never mind. goodnight. :

Old School

2006-07-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

hello blog, and a few other poor friends of mine who read this.
today was a pretty eventful day, hmm, where shall i start? actually want to talk about whats been on for the week since i havent updated for a while.. but never mind. whats fresh in my mind is what happened, today... quite an interesting day on the whole.

today, when i didnt fall asleep during lectures! and lessons weren't too stressful too. no major tutorial going thru sessions. its quite nice listening to your classmate laugh a hearty laugh. its pretty infectious too. kinda keeps u awake as well. (:

this morning, i had an encounter with a teacher with a gray face. i dont know her name, but ive seen her around before. the grayest face ive seen around.. as some of u already know, i fell down once again, which's my 2nd time tripping and falling while jogging in 3weeks.this time round the wound's a bit bigger and on the other knee. but its drying up already. so just like yestrday, i went to sit on the chairs at the aisle of the hall. shared a chair with bee. its interesting that teachers have different responses to this.

Me: hi mrs Foo may i take this chair?
MrsFoo: aiyo your knee!! sitsitsitsitsit! (yes in the way she talks when she gets excited or appalled when we dont do tutorials.)

so bee and i sat there..listened to the announcements. im slightly : about the soccer thing now being held in the canteen. supposed to be at the concourse where they will set up a big projector screen. im guessing a teacher i/c may have tried to make his job easier by offering the plasma screen tv to my juniors instead of setting up a larger screen in the concourse. if we're doing this screening of worldcup finals with the plasma, may i suggest that its actually better to use the plasma at the concourse. at least its lower and the screen is closer to people. the canteen one stares down at you. :( thanks for the effort guys!

ok back to the thing. while listening to the announcements there was a lady teacher sitting a few seats ahead of me, and i kept seeing her gray head turn and she looked back at me a few times. she was scrutinising me. saw her head tilt down to look at my leg. i pretended not to notice.
after assembly when the crowd has dispersed she came to me...

Gray face: why wereyou sitting on the chair?
Me: Im injured.
Her: OH? What injury is that?
Me: I wounded my knee.
then after she ranted about how she used to have a student who had a knee operation and didnt dare to sit on the chairs. she was "too embarrassed".
Me: Different people have different tolerance levels, ma'am.

Her gray face turned black.
so she said other stuff, then she left after i told her we got her point.
i know she is a teacher, that there are other teachers who were standing around, but there were ample chairs around. that was what mr lim michael said. so i guess they were chatting so they chose not to sit. hard to talk sitting in a line?
think she was just displeased that im taking a chair and she felt her status as a teacher being threatened. well, i think she must be not feeling well. all the unhealthy ions just look like they were seeping out from the gray face!

and unpleasant behaviour in the LT. i dislike it when people give our chem rep ill treatment.
i mean, why do people expect our chem rep to deliver their notes right to their noses? esp when the lecturer was starting. someone could have come down to collect for the row, right? i didnt see the need to shout the chem rep's name to tell everyone that there were people without notes, and also without courtesy or legs to come down and take it frm her.

ok byebye mum wants to use.

for some sentimental reason

2006-06-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

common tests are over. im not expecting very good grades, but anyway i have to say this is the one exam that i feel that ive actually put in a decent amount of effort to at least run through most of the chapters being tested, to feel that interest and attachment to what i study and try keeping focused during the times when i was studying. anyway the common tests made me realise that if i want to do well, or at least escape my EOF fate for my subjects, i really need to be alot more focused, alot more intensive, esp when for the last one and a half years ive been inconsistent, or should i say that ccas were kinda like my core. i didnt feel like i was a student. studying was just a pasttime to me. jac needs to block out all the distractions already...and must stop herself from becoming too disorientated, and must detach herself from the troubles and itsy things that make her pensive.just for a while...

meanwhlie i had a good night with the girls just now :) good dinner, but poor shee's baked pasta was abit too soupy.... :\ for now, take care everyone. i think after badminton tomorrow i may head out to the beach and do some pondering and some guitar strumming. serenade the waves, and relax:)

11:11

2006-06-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

dont let me get me

2006-06-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

its a lazy saturday. anyway last night's germany vs costa rica was quite interesting in the first half. to me. it got slightly boring after that.but i still wanted to continue watching. unfortunately my mum popped into the living room and switched the tv off :( never mind. lots of things better to do.

went to harbourfrnt center to have lunch with jun, chinnie shiling and Mrs Tan! her kids came after that it always feels good to meet up and chill out and talk over lunch!it has a therapeutic effect somehow. im not very good with words, as u guys have seen/read.......so pictures(:

really miss everyone. thats shiling, mrs tan,and little mabel who've grown quite abit frm the last time i saw her!and me, and my fats.. haha. ok now. maybe i should go study :X. lazy saturdaY... am even lazy to type any further. oh before i end. not sure how many of us are shocked by the young doc who took drugs and got himself into all that crap. was it really a build up of bottled emotions. and the final examination made him snap. think humans really let situations control them all too often. like in that angst and self pity people stop being conscious of their self and their feelings, and just let things go, snap. jump dwn building. whatver nonsense it is. anyway bet he never thought that it was a trap set by the police. what makes humans both vulnerable and capable of being resilient and strong?chemistry's driving me nuts. though i do admit that its not as difficult as i thought. do u know i used to think organic chem is so huge that its like 20chapters :x thats before i started picking up mmy notes. im now..halfway thru organic i think.if i remember the stuff that i studied.

Can you hear me

2006-06-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

If lemak means fats in malay, doesnt nasi lemak mean sth like. Fat Rice. hmm. its good that i didnt notice the usage of lemak in nasi lemak before this, cos knowing this now makes me think twice about having that savoury dish! doesnt really help that Holland V is back on TV :P. The acting is normal mediacorpish style, just highly exaggerated! like Mo Wanwan's QIIII si wo le!. its painfully draggged... ok thats not the only one. theres also the role of the feminine guy wooing her.Right, i know this is like eons ago kinda thing.....

Just that i thought we face the same thing in drama. how to bring out a character and immersing yourself into that character so that you dont go over the top, so everything of the character just flows out nicely. otherwise it will just become exaggerated and fake and inconsistent personality. the angriness or emotion cannot just come out in tone, or just by expression.

I MISS DRAMA and THE DRAMA EXCO and TEACHERS and PEEPS :(

Motivation and studying.

2006-06-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

"Introverted children enjoy the internal world of thoughts, feelings and fantasies, and there's a physiological reason for this. Researchers using brain scans have found introverts have more brain activity in general, and specifically in the frontal lobes. When these areas are activated, introverts are energized by retrieving long-term memories, problem solving, introspection, complex thinking and planning. ""Introverted children need time alone more than do extroverted children, says Laney, whose book, The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child, is due in January. 'Extroverts gain energy by being out and about,' but 'being with people takes energy from introverts, and they need to get away to restore that energy.'""Laney says introverted kids also behave differently. ""They're not slow, inattentive or shy. Shyness is behavior that may diminish as children grow; introversion is a character trait that lasts. "

-Took that from Xiahans blog. i guess im not very extroverted despite all my active commitments. have i been nurtured into an extrovert? or am i just clamming up and keeping things to myself. which is differnt frm introversion. btw he writes pretty well, and to an extent thought provokingly.

Motivation doesn't exist for academics. probably alot of people don't see that yet. i wish i can find a true, long term motivation to do well in my math, and in my sciences particularly. Maths isnt that nasty to me compared to sciences, its easier to comprehend, it doesnt take so much time to go through the notes compared to the threatening bio notes. and i like maths:)

Think my motivation for now really comes from the people around me, people whom i trust. what mrs Teo said the last time i met her was really right. and i agree with her cos she hit me on the right chords, term 3 and 4 will be an EVEN LARGER struggle for me if im not going to catch up on my stuff. what de-motivates me is negativity, although its true, the truth is still jarring to me and i dislike hearing what i get from my mum, the stark truth. To her and probably to alot more people out there (have they been demonised??), education is not learning. education has the practical use of lifting u up to high ranks. money...which is true. and important.
impractical me cannot envision myself in that. and i cannot bring myself to study because of that. it doesnt relate to me, not for now.

Honestly, would i be happy earning just enough to get by every month?
Would i want a "good life", high paying, high flyer job, with lots of material comforts? How important is material comfort to me for now? its difficult to gauge. so many things i can't reason. looks like only the future will tell.

and perhaps also, shouldn't i be considering an education as a privilege? there's no reason for me to waste a chance. think its alot easier to just learn and pursue knowledge without having that thought that oh, we're all victims of this darned education system set by MOE (though i think so:P). just pure learning, enjoyment of school life. unfortunately such things dont occur. upsetting.

ok why am i rambling all these? cos a classmate just asked me about where my motivation for studying lies. haha i do apologise for not writing here for more than a month, decided to just ramble here cos i realised there are people who read my blog! :O

today was a better day than yesterday. if that happens everyday, i would have days that are great to infinity! like exponential graph. if only :\.
Unfortunately mine is like some erratic graph. it hit the baseline yesterday. cant be worse than that! no wonder today is better!

AND, i had this dream of Gladys and Mr young and i at a chalet. looked like that chalet at aloha loyang. we were sitting on the bed, Gladys entertaining us with her funny antics. the best part was Kim Choo (gladys bachang shop) was just below our room? making it part of our chalet. and Zuhao was manning the shop??! somehow in dreams my panoramic view gets alot better it seemed like i was in a computer game! Zu gladys and mr teo in shanghai now. msut be having a bloody good time. hope they come back soon. maybe with some shanghai goodies:)

admitting

2006-04-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

realised that there's something called bleeding when it comes to designing programme booklets. that's basically leaving a border around your paper, the guy says 3mm. cos they'll cut off that. yea.

am slightly drowsy now. today morn was spent well. went fr breakfast w capt, then i went for drama till about 3.

mum's nagging now that i dont know how to take care of myself. i admit, i havent been very good to my body and all. having headaches for a quarter of the days in a month is really pretty taxing. and a waste of time too. and a waste of panadol! going back to the neuro only in June.

skipping lunches, racing against time is something which i detest the most.

Don and lummy, you guys are right. i admit i do not have a clear view of what i want to do in future. nothing concrete unlike the two of you, research, pharmaceutical research, joining big companies, having stable income, and all.

i think while i ponder further on what i can do in future,
i know what i want/need to fulfill in future.give my parents a comfortable life, support my little sister through school cos by then my dad would have retired, and give back to society.

i know lummy is mocking again, and asking me again, why must we give back to society? sorry. i just feel that i owe people around me, and society something for making me who i am today.

i can continue to extend my help to people around me. watch out for them. be sensitive towards others.
watch out for myself, stand up for myself, and start studying.

i am toying around with more nurturing roles like being a teacher. or a counsellor. or a social worker.
i admit most of the time i live day to day.

time to settle my drama accounts, the programme booklet, followed by a dose of newspapers.

sweetsong:)

2006-04-18T23:54:00.000+08:00

see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while
you belong to me

see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears
you belong to me

and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again
you belong to me

oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again
you belong to me

i think its an old song. but the version i heard is the one by jason wade, shreK.
i know i should be doing sth more constructive now...hmm. like my tuts. yea. ok. im going off now. this week and nx week's going to be a real long struggle, but dearest v.Actors, i know we'll pull through and give 4356% for dramanight and SYF. whats playing on my mediaplayer is this reall old song by peter cetera, its called Afterall. not sure how many of you have heard it before, wont mind singing it for u. but its so...so oldie pop.

am feeling completely guilty over letting my teachers down time after time, when theyve preached to you about a hundred times on getting priorities right and everything. and when they're helping in many ways. in particular im talking abt mr chua lah. cranky sometimes but you know he means well. and the guilt heightens when you know theres alot more you can push yourself to do. its been countless times that ive told myself that everyone is just about as exhausted, stop moping jacq. i know ive to toughen up, far too delicate. ive cut down on that, but theres still room for more. im prob not alpha girl material afterall.

is there sucha thing as having wrong priorities, if priorities are supposed to be a personal decision. ok anyway i know my priorities are abit haywire now.
think ive a problem with delegating work. perhaps i should learn to be more aggressive so that i wont just oblige to everything.

was very put off this morning by a year one, and im not sure if what im feeling is right. but anyway, shes skipping cca because of "a test on the next day" and she needs to study. i understand her priorities are with her books, but surely, theres a better way to allocate time for her mugging?

did everyone just become slack with attendance cos theres no more pearls? and just to add on, frivolously signing up for things they dont even want to spend time on/are halfhearted about? it'll be so tragic if people are just interested in the extrinsic rewards a CCA can provide. or to have a cca/leadership position not because of a genuine want to do more and improve things, but for a betterlooking CV.
how many people out there are still true to themselves, and true to what they're doing?

its a wrong time to be thinking of this.
bye everyone. most likely will not be updating for the rest of this week.
happy birthday xiuwen and irvin:).

2006-04-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

:) am left speechless by everything that happened yesterday.
everything went smoother than i expected.
two groups of people i want to shout out to, my aquila people, and my dearest v.Actors!

sports day was boring for most of the people, i guess a sports carnival style will work better. anyway, it feels good. will not elaborate, cos alot of things are confidential at least for the moment. :]

will blog again when i find things to say. but for now, everyone: i really have no idea who reads this blog, and perhaps i would rather not know! but if u do read this, drop sth in the comments box? yea!

friday

2006-04-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

"It's a friday!"
having a little break tonight. have done nothing, apart from tidying my table a little, writing out the loong list of things to do for publicity. its gonna rock! raelly hope all the efforts to publicise on drama night will not be a waste. though i wonder how much publicity actually influences people to buy tickets, and all that.. its kind of like appealing to people's senses and emotions through all means i can find. really think this time's plan for publicity is quite a bit, compared to last year! this's providing if we can fulfill all our to-dos that are on our list now, with limited manpower.. am thankful we've each other and mr young and ms farah to help us.

anyway, what can i say? its the 3rd day of my anti-tired (antired) and anti-stressed! campaign. thats my resolution to stop saying that im tired and stressed. probably because i think it gets on my nerves, to hear myself complain when i know everyone's in this darned crammed schedule, albeit some more hectic than the rest. so perhaps i can learn to take everything with a bigger grin, and eveyrthing in my stride.

yes yu cynic, i know u told me dont delude myself:P, but this is just some form of motivation. its working so far! i mean, ive cut down from saying 6 "im tired"s, to just 2today.

the day

2006-03-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

it was really a great surprise to see xinyi and xiuwen AND yawen;) agaiN!! woohoo. anyway im so gullible sometimes, it really neveroccuered to me that the eastcoast outing thing by xiuwen was a SCAM :p. dont u just wish you'll never meet bad people in your life? just that you'll never learn.

so, as i was saying. really touched by the gesture! :) coming down frm Thomson, Ubi, and Hougang. haha, armed with chocolate cake! and a whole collage of lovely photos. it feels amazing how we've known each other for 6years. have faith that these are the peeps that'll invite me to their weddings: ) lovely people.

wont talk about the upsetting stuff that happened today, not alot actyually. im just worried about some stuff, some people.... worse when you are not able to help! or even myself. do we think too much? are we too caught up with our lives?
sometimes i get upset, and i dont realise it myself until someone remarks that i look sullen. and i affect people around me as well...
a little chat with mrho today was good too. he will make a good psychologist. didnt tell him i was still thinking abt what he told me last week though. hmm...

am going to sleep early. sleeping helps forget worries. running helps too.
so to everyone reading, thanks for reading, and well, smile and face everyday, strong. : )

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only robs today of its strength.
-AJ Cronin.

chem yes; no; no chem; chem.

2006-03-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

I could build a mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please

I could fly to Paris,
it's at my beck and call
Why do I live my life alone with nothing at all?
But when I dream, I dream of you

Maybe someday you will come true
But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true...
I can be the singer or the clown in every room
I can call up someone to take me to the moon
I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane
I can go to bed alone and never know his name

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true
But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true...

another song that im listening to now!.
love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It's there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through
Oh! Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say let it go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the oceanFull of conflicts , full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rainsIf I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memory of love will be of you!
Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say let it go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know
--------
i know the title of my entry and what is up here doesnt really tally, but its alright. whats love to u folks?haha. was a tad disappointed about common tests, especially today. was hoping that i could take today to study instead so i would be more prepared for the test. but never mind. blame thyself! hols are coming. my birthday is coming too. soon to be 18, and with trivial things and confusing thoughts to grapple with. should be more focused and exercise restraint on my mad thoughts sometimes. been thinking how much ive grown in the past year or so. alcohol will be available legally to me in 7 days. random. not as though it really matters.

everyone out there, take care:)

Laugh from the heart.

2006-02-24T22:41:00.000+08:00

i would say that coffee bean has been kinda my favourite coffee outlet after all these years, hmm think 7years?haha. and ive grown to love it very much:). can still remember the first time i had a drink from there, was so apprehensive about ordering and all. think i took the chocolate drink or sth. didnt pick up drinking coffee until about sec 3. and now! sigh. haha.

think overall todaywas a happier day than yesterday, even though i screwed up my physics A, but it probably didnt matter to me. :X. haiz. i finished on the dot, thank goodness. actually nothing much to blog about today.

today's GP session was quite hilarious. it actually made me laugh!
havent been truly laughing for quite a while... sometimes you laugh to play along, and laugh, to show appreciation or to lighten a mood. but some things just make you laugh or smile from the heart. true mirth :).

not sure about the reason why GP made me laugh.hearing mr young talk about people going under the knife to enhance assets. or creams and crap.
actually i think i myself have been demonised, in a way. talking about pimples that can hardly be seen.

the former DPM has passed away. do they broadcast the funeral cos they know people want to watch? or is it really a sign of respect?if its respect :(. hai. are people obsessed with dying? ok maybe not. but theres some form of comfort in watching a funeral. at least you know the person didn't pass away lonely, or with no loved ones around.

its alreayd year 2 of JC life. house noms have to be chosen soon, and im not quite contented to just hand over like this. haha.. definitely going to miss the peeps. esp rox jenny and mickey. people who i know im comfortable with, and can trust. anw,i remember how informal last year's hand over was. it took less than a few minutes, and it was over. how much have we contributed over the school? maybe quite a bit. maybe not that much, as alot of the duties are covered by SC. guess thats how leadrership bodies work. i wouldnt wanna see a struggle for power. what if we just combine all 3 of us together? hmmm... might not work well too:S what will be the purpose?

and also brings to me the point on class life. everyday, i honestly feel we are really, well classmates! like maybe just acquaintances. i feel guilty that i havent been talking to alot of people in the class. it just takes effort to interact with the class, get to understand your fellow classmates better. and all. some times i just "sian-diao" and dont want to talk. like shut down mode... and i do feel guilty :(. but STILL! im not doing enough i guess.

it may seem slightly dumb to some, but i really feel that when we are brought together as a class and if we bond as a class (albeit late now) JClife will be so much more enjoyable. we dont get to come together like this again, ok. hardly. after these two years, we wont come together like that. do i really want to remember my jc class as one that is scattered, and like candle wax? are we so jaded we can't be bothered to socialise?

sigh.
jac should stop sighing.or wishing that her class will just glue like glue tomorrow.
go on and do something jac.

the normal day

2006-02-14T23:32:00.000+08:00

was just thinking how nice it would be, if everyday was like valentines day. when everyone will just naturally shower people with love and concern. or just show people that they really care, and not wait for a little 14th february to do it. can it just be something normal that people just have a little bit more of kindess and love for fellow humans?

must we really wait for events to come our way before getting ourselves to do a task? it would be great if everyone seized the day, and go out to complete their day meaningfully, to not wait for chance to pounce on them. its just so difficult. maybe im just an idealist. but not a perfectionist.

hai. how many people spent today normally? not that anything's sad about it. at least to me...
think i enjoyed my day in school. lugging around the bear and everything else..receiving little thoughts and all else, for that i really say thank u to all those out there:)

hmm. do you think its a pity to deprive oneself of love? like not seizing the opportunity to love
even if it seems to be at your doorstep. do couples really love? or is it companionship they are looking out for. think crushes wilt like flowers.... maybe thats why flowers are so popular during occasiosn like vday, or even other occasions...haha. not trying to be pessimistic ok? just thinking......... cos the occasions come, the whole hype dies down and return only the next year.

heard the shan hu hai song during DJing today. it was the last song house comm played, and i kind of like it. sounds sad though.

just filled up the scholarships form. when everything's in black and white, to me only academic stuff, stuff counts. i mean grades, or very obvious ways to distinguish us. like C5 vs A1. when it comes to testimonials, they seem good, they sound like a big moral booster. so everyone's testimonial is supposed to be bravo!fantastic.! so how do u really need a testimonial? not saying its unimportant, but just doubting the use of it..sigh. everyone sounds like angels in testimonials. who will be there to realise what character that person really is?
sorrie. i seem to be having some keyboard diarrhoea.

its getting late and i havent started on my work so goodbye for now:).
take care everyone...

the rose

2006-02-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

Some say love
it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower,and you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose.

i love this song. even though its really melancholy. can still recall the time when 403 sang this together. haha. what a CLE lesson. seeing more bad naturedness of humankind. oh well.

had a good conversation with kenneth, ironically at the porch infront of the white gleaming Victoria. oh well.can't say why ironic. i cannot utter a word of what we talked about! later get hantumed. sigh. victims...

JTS is creating a hoohaa in the class and its really annoying. ok its getting annoying that the date keeps getting postponed. ive told my parents about 4times that i'll be having JTS, only to SMS them in the afternoons that its been cancelled... could we please settle on a date soon? lets give in to each other's demands! and attmept to make the final decision soon :[

ok. bye for now. country, jazz, musicals and opera, softrock. alternative. love. (:

boxingday

2005-12-26T10:54:00.000+08:00

happyboxingday! anyone cares to tell me what it represents?

had a goodtime at mr Don loo's house ytd:)
though it was a small bunch of 7-8?yup.. but i like small groups anyway. so now u might know why i dont quite like Orientation:
tata for now.

any santa claus :) ?

2005-12-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

some things i found while browsing at Gap and banana republic :).............
and i really need capris!

the following are items that my little sis wants for Xmas :). i personally like the jeans and that red skirt.

:O

2005-12-23T13:47:00.000+08:00

gasp, its been so long since ive uupdated. and its so long since i touched mi schoolwork... need to start work real soon.
have i mentioned my malaysia holiday was not as pleasant as it could have been? yet im missing it:(. the place, the fresh air, viewing so much greenery enough to fill Singapore...

goodbye.
:X

great

2005-12-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

looking forward to my mini trip to Malaysia, even if it means sitting in the car for nearly the whole day to get to Cameron.
i miss that place. so quiet, and distant from the rest of the world. its good to be alone sometimes.

i raelly think im antisocial sometimes. not looking forward to travelling with my dad's colleagues, especially when they are the chatty sort who'ld ask you from everything from grades to vegetables..... of course it sure feels safer travelling with 2other cars, but does it really make a difference? does it?

fine. maybe im just too lazy to socialise.

And, rejoice! theres no international roaming for my phone and plan, so please kindly do not SMS me. goodnight! au revoir.

nothing much happned to me today, Alice seemed colder and less communicative. im ashamed to say that it actually affected my mood. you know they are always saying how its important to take pride in your work and all. perhaps i dont believe in taking pride in doing something like data entry, but i also realise that my actions seemed to imply that i do care about how i do my work. editing words, neatening the columns and rows. even if its crappy, data entry.

i dont understand!
i am a polar bear!
goodnight.

a threerocks tribute/

2005-12-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

DEAREST LADIES...

i miss you, the tUtUng tabletennis mummy who cursed me with toe nail cancer and the recessive bad taste gene. i miss you, the fencer who got a SEA GAMES team gold :(.
i miss you, my twin sophie whos so pure and holy :(.
i miss you, my OBS partner and aka the josephtoh lover (ex) :(.
i miss you, my Ms Tang correspondent and pon-PE tree :(.
i miss you, my Nationalist-Victoria invincible buddy.
i miss you, soh KANGKANG and your chinese dance.
i miss you, my chiobu partner and your money diets.

i miss you, the emmawatson worshipper and your funny antics with your specs.

i miss you, the sink of the class who loved me even when i was blind and "changed".

i miss you, the chair/auntie of the class.

i miss you, the auntie of the class and the jiang/kang xin thingies.

i miss you, the turtle of the class and your whiny voice.

i miss you, how black you are and your amazing netball.

i miss you, your smile and how you thanked Ms pang after she said u were a pretty babe.

i miss you, the dee-ah-nee and all that nonsensical things u brought to the class.

i miss you, the jadey babes and your sex appeal :P.

i miss you, xiao liang zi. and the pai-xis.

i miss you, your dancing, humbleness and love for everyone.

i miss you, your BROTHER and your writing flair.
i miss you, the taitai and your mentos grape.
i miss you, for you're so quiet most of the time.
i miss you, your pint size and your CO instrumt!
i miss you, the woman with all the courage and determination to complete any mad task, staying to 4am for PB and everythg.
i miss you, your tapping shoulder thing. it went arnd the class for so long.
i miss you, the big but timid girl of the class.
i miss you, my fellow money monger and how Char Png loved u.
i miss you, the fatty jelly coconut.
i miss you, your cool art. even though i see you in VJ.
i miss you, you're still the same man! i see u in VJ too.
i miss you, the only one in St Francis.
i miss you, tall girlie! your angel temperament and cool cucumber style.
i miss you, your crushes, warrenmarkliew was the last one i knew and im not updated on this.
i miss you, even though u sometimes pissed us off with your i-love-running-and more running hahaa.
i miss you, your Marianne Chong, and the brain gym u imparted to us.

i miss 403. :(.

i miss all of u.

toodles~.later i type stuff wrongly tmr :(
filiae melioris aevi...

frenchie

2005-12-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

my goodness. par larh va vut sh wah! ok that was nonsense. but i was attempting a task frm Mr Domch to find the french words and all. can say i nearly died hearing all the weed, ouit!, par va leh ong glare and everything else. its really interestring to learn a language i guess. if only we could take a 3rd language. like all of us who are interested! who says that people not good in their 2languages wont be good at their 3rd? some people are just not wired for some languages. i think :S.

anyway i had a data entry job today, at The Signature. the building's awesome, and ive to admit i felt slightly under dressed there. the aircon was freezing, like normal companies/LTs... was given a glass box full of LUCKY DRAW SLIPS! and i was to key in every detail on the slip, like the details on the receipt attached to the lucky draw thing, and other interesting information. its boring! but still beats working at some book company (which i did last year). who docks your pay and doesnt pay you for OT!!!!!!!!im thinking 3 days i s pretty short? but at least i get a feel of how super office, -office- clerical work is like. going back there tmr and on wednesday. so im now residing in this room on my own, with glass walls so theres really no privacy. for a while i thought it felt great to be in a room of my own, looking out at people working. but a while later i felt it was the other way round, numerous pairs of eyes staring at you frm their cubicles were moe lke it! not that it happened but yah, jsut a sudden kjerky efeling that you're the one being watched rather than the other way round. and u miss out on the chatter and yabber too. why must managers always sit in a room in their own? GLASS WALLS soemore haha! surely, whats there here?

then i will be off, to malaysia. oh yeah, im so glad that theres another vj girl with me for the data entry job! her names rachel, and shes pretty outspoken, and im not very quiet either so weve been yabbering quite alot together, its stunning how two people who've never talked before can yak so much. even though its nothing much of a serious conversation but im glad nonetheless. so im not as antisocial as i thought huh :)

apologies to those who tried to reach me by SMS. i really lack SMS now, i chalk up a fat 1200SMSes every month and its time to stop that! :( so i reply only important/urgent things. or perhaps u will get a phonecall frm me.

i should sleep now.
this week is giong to be hectic. last night was frightening. Orientation programme proposal, notifying people on events, sending out information...slotting in games schedule..... i should stop whining. bad time management : ( .

love u guys! please take care, and visit me at The Signature to see the cool building! theres even a pool and gym. its near IBM at Expo there. stalk the building today! :)

how to be dead

2005-12-01T10:21:00.000+08:00

something's telling me that school should start soon, so i will stop behaving like a sloth all the long, bumming around doing nothing in particular. but maybe lazy holidays could have a reverse psychology effect to it, so you'll be sick of slothing arnd and you'll start craving for some work and hype. oh well.

its still pretty early in the morning. i got a fright last night when my house door just mysteriously opened on its own. i heard a click sound and when i looked out the door was slightly ajar, only loosely secured by the chain thing. wondered who opened the door/ forgot to lock the door!

was supposed to meet Z for breakfast,but i couldnt wake up :X thank goodness i dropped an sms in advance, pretty much in advance, at like 1+am. after i locked the door. was watching this freaky TVshow, about this girl whose mother is a staunch christian, how shes being teased by her other classmates for her holiness. kinda reminded me of sophia:)my twin. haha. well just random, sophie's not that "holy" anyway. hahaha. also reminded me of how, perhaps people are just ugly.ok sometimes. or they forget to think of others as humans too. or maybe they're scared of being associated to people who are different. or scared of people who are different. time for some people to wake up... sigh. human behaviour puzzles me sometimes. is it just immaturity or just a, u know, behavioural. trait?? sure hope its the former. quite scary if people dont grow out of this. and i think they don't!

and what good is a religion if you dont practise what you preach?or if you're just without your own principles and moral values. that could be one of the reasons why i refuse to believe that there's anything up there.. or something. but its a very trivial reason that doesnt do justice to those pious people out there, BUT then again it really seems as though religion is ineffective in helping people be good. though thats only one of the many reasons why people turn to religion.

hmm. maybe i do believe that theres a higher power but i cant identify any as yet. or connect to that higher power so i'll just. wait. i think spiritual support is good to a large extent if one utillises it well. that reminds me of mr Domch, who was asking me abt religion a couple of days back. haha and that also reminded me of how i struggled to find my religion during the sec3period, going for school held services, or just going to the temple, attempting to seek solace but only to come to the conclusion that i just dont believe. just...can't.

meeting my OG again tomorrow. hoping again that turnout will be good:).. haha. oh well.

anyway energy being expelled
negative energy in the house yesterday!
good riddance!
anyway its not ghosts or anything. just angry energy in the house. mum was scolding everyone.. perhaps its PMS. menopause maybe. :S

---how to be dead, by Snow Patrol. great band!
Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truthNo you don't know what happenedAnd you never will ifYou don't listen to me while I talk to the wallThis blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hallWhere you've had me for hoursTill I'm sure what I wantBut darling I want the same thing that I wanted beforeSo sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no wayPlease keep your hands downAnd stop raising your voiceIt's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choiceIt's a simple suggestion can you give me sometimeSo just say yes or noWhy can't you shoulder the blameCoz both my shoulders are heavyFrom the weight of us bothYou're a big boy now so let's not talk about growthYou've not heard a single word I have said...Oh, my GodPlease take it easy it can't all be my faultI haven't made half the mistakesThat you've listed so farOh baby let me explain somethingIt's all down to drugsAt least I remember taking the and not a lot elseIt seems I've stepped over linesYou've drawn again and againBut if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely outDr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride
.
the tune is just pretty mellow, but rock is in it at the same time :).

:)

2005-11-25T22:25:00.000+08:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.4
Mind:	6.8
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	6.8
Friends/Family:	6.1
Love:	5.7
Finance:	6.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

poofy day

2005-11-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

hello.todays a..POOFY DAY!
the morning breeze and chilly weather was so lovely that i couldnt bear to wake up.
happened to bump into atiqah on the bus, she was running late too. she lives in punggol. not that awkward a ride,guess we were both very conversational considering the weather. blahhahaa. talked about the culture shock we experienced due to our shift to vj, the environment change, the difference in intellectual stimulation... etc. seems like we're both moving on pretty fine and thats great. though it took me quite a while to accept things will never be that similar in any other school. so glad i spent my four years there. tiq agreed too.

and like what mr charles png would put it, rgs is like "heaven". for the teachers. haha. perhaps it applies to the kids there too. perhaps you wont realise how effective the education and stuff were until you're out of that institution, when you're exposed to another community, another school environmnt. think a general sentiment of my batch and possibly other batches before me, it just felt/feels like home there. :)

anyway, CHRONOS did a pretty neat job today. not only did we come up with a whole truckload of cheers, i nearly died laughing trying to chant those cheers, esp those which didnt make sense, or those with absolutely no tune. try this, to the popeye chorus:

C-H-R-O-N-O-S

C-H-R-O-N

C-H-R-O-N-O-S

great aint it! its totally idiot proof:)

so the morning we learnt la bamba, and neutron. pretty much a revision. the mood was moderate, maybe its just moderate cos the turnout was less than excellent. "other commitments", lets just put it that way...... the unfit lady here is having some kinda muscleache, just because she did a little more walking and ballgames than normal. so, im exhausted. a little lah.

the reminiscing about the past... kinda leaves me feeling slightly tired, and sad. what a surreal feeling. oh and the greatest thing that has happened to me yesterday, was such an unromantic but "first" of its kind. but i will remember it...

met sarah yesterday too. had a camel conversation at ben and jerrys. the customer service impressed me. coffeebean at suntec's customer service impressed me too. chattiness proves to be a great tool here. i went there early, so i just grabbed some breakfast there. with a hot vanilla. after a while i placed another order for a vanilla latte (i love vanilla). the lady taking the order kinda noticed, ah. she can remeber my name now. haha. she added more vanilla to my lattE:) muchly appreciated. ok anyway, the camel conversation is great. hope i meet her again soon. sarahs still the same. guess some things never change. girl friends forever.:)

S-I-C-K

2005-11-22T13:41:00.000+08:00

\thats actually inspired frm L-O-V-E. you knoe, that song from nat king cole. yes,
these few days ive been down with some sick bug. im thankful all these is happening before my trip to malaysia, though dreadfully it had to land on my chalet days. then again when was there ever a good time to fall sick?
im too old for MCs frm school... you'll realise its not double the amount of work to catch up if you miss school for a day, but something like double of double the amount of work.

listening to some "exotic" tunes frm mr redmund. its good to have someone not listen to mainstream music sometimes. im tired of hearing the same things play. thought i would just try out the picture thingie here. not bad :P its pretty idiotfriendly so i shall continue with this blog. cant realy see my face but thats alright. took this with chinnie in the train.

supposed to have OGL meeting this morning. i wonder how my group did. its worrying.. perhaps i should not think of such trivial stuff. heard from don today's turnout was rather poor too. hopefully our next meeting would be good.

or better.

am not really in the mood to blog so will just shut up now. oh and i accidentally locked my room, think the key is somewhere in the house. thank goodness its not in my room. but i cant find the key and was contemplating jumping from the balcony(not finished) to my room's window which is uh, perpendicular to the window of the balcony and then i can go in and open the door...

since i live on the 16th storey if i slip or miss the window say goodbye to me!

my first entry

2005-11-20T12:26:00.000+08:00

not confirmed if i will even update. thus, my blog name :)
some of my thouhts are just too personal so to avoid any miscommunication and whatsoever i will just pen everything into my jouirnal, if theres smth worth mentioning to everyone who reads i will post it. deal? deal.